i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
