i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
