All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
