I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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