Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
