I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
