well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
