we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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