I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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