i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
