Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
