i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
where does the pee come out of this thing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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