I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
