Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
