I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
