You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
