ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
