About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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