I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
