We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
