dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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