well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
