Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
