When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
