tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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