her vagine was all disorganized.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
