I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When are your genitals available?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize