Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
