i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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