how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
