I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
