she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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