well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
