my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
