And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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