TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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