So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my shit smells like andre
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
