I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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