Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
