I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize