Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
