So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
