they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
