My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
