dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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