if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
