im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
