you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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