**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i came on her dog
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
