I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
