How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
