She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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