Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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