Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize