The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
