My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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