Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
