omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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