stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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