Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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