is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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