I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
